Reason, Season or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON...It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a Godsend and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

The, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. Sometimes they die. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. Your need has been answered, and now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON...It is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Anonymous

Thanks Andrea--I appreciate your email.  I feel much better after getting it off my chest as well.

The good, the bad and the ugly...

THE GOOD:

1.  This young man joined us in the world this week.  Welcome baby Tien-Le (son of my friend Yeen)!  Little A and I went over (our maiden voyage to Al Reef) and visited him today.  He is adorable, and it is so crazy how quickly I have forgotten how teeny and precious a newborn baby is. 

2.  Today I managed to unload some of the weight (unfortunately--I am speaking metaphorically) that I have been carrying.  The expression goes that "God only gives us what we can handle."  In my experience, I find that the Universe not only gives you what you can handle, but also sends you people to help you on your journey.  Today, I managed to unload to my new friend Samar (who I met through little A's school, on her assessment day).  I felt so much better after talking to her, as I was able to talk through all of the little bits that had been troubling me.  

3.  Aumi is feeling better.  Heading in to round 2 of chemo treatments.  Look how beautiful she is!  Having no hair helps her smile to stand out just that much more.  

4.  I found these fuzzy peaches (from Turkey) in Lulu this week.  Surprisingly, they are juicy and sweet.  They reminded me of the peaches that used to get trucked into Forestburg when I was little (Fresh BC Peaches).  I was delighted to see N with a bowl, juice dripping down his chubby hands.  

THE BAD:

1.  I have to write my first "Goodbye, I love you" letter to my friend Kim.  Peter is flying out on Friday morning.  I have no idea how to write something like this, or even how to begin.  I cannot imagine a world where he no longer exists.  I will just write from the heart.  

THE UGLY:

I have three 'friends' here in Abu Dhabi (see how that word is in quotation marks) who are currently not returning my text messages, picking up the phone when I call, or responding to my emails.  How old AM I??

I have seriously considered what I might have done to warrant such treatment, and can't come up with anything worthy of this kind of disregard.  Obviously, there is something that I have done, that I am completely unaware of, but then, wouldn't the right thing to do be to bring it to my attention so that I could address it?  Since I am unable to get in contact with any of them, I am unable to ask the question 'have I offended you in some way?' myself (and because I am not 8, I don't feel like sending an intermediary on my behalf).

I would be lying if I said it didn't bother me to be treated this way.  I am 37 years old, pretty much keep to the company of myself, my family and the few true friends I have made here, and go out of my way to avoid confrontation as much as possible.  My mom always told me to be nice to everyone.  This doesn't mean that I need to be 'besties' with everyone that I meet, but it does mean that I smile, act friendly and RETURN phone calls and text messages.

I have known all three of these ladies for the entire time that I have lived here, and have been friendly with them all (closer at some times than others).  I have been told in the past that I am an 'ungrateful' person, and that I take people's generosity for granted.  Nobody likes to think of themselves this way (and believe me--I did some surveys and self-analysis after I received that feedback).  At that time, I came to the conclusion that those comments reflected the state of the person from which they originated more than they did me.  I think that I will have to come to a similar conclusion here, as I write off these 'friendships' as 'their loss'.

MORE GOOD (b/c why end on an UGLY NOTE??)

We have had "Jake the Snake" this week.  We have been trying to come up with "Photo Opps" so that it looks like we have a very exciting lifestyle (here we are at the school library, where little A and I go almost every day to get a book).  Look at Magoo in the background--I can't believe she kept her hat on the whole time!  I also spent an hour in A's class this morning (after a lovely breakfast with Samar), and I have to say "HATS OFF" to Ms. Kathryn, Anne Marie, and all the other K-teachers of the world!!

Pickle, Magoo and I went to Zayed Sports City to play (I know...it's a little late in the game for me to become part of the Abu Dhabi Mums group).  They had a great time once again.  We will have to make this a weekly event.

Graduate of the Britney Spears Driving School

UP and DOWN

Does your back hurt?

Peter's does.  It hurts A LOT.  It's hurt for YEARS.  He often switches sleeping mattresses two to three times a night.  One is too soft.  One is too firm.  We haven't found the one that is 'just right' yet for our Goldilocks.

It occurred to me today that there is possibly another reason why his back hurts.  See if you can find a clue in the above pictures (all taken before 8:00 this morning).  And yes...that is all three of our kids in the last photo.

A's purple moustache is finally starting to fade.  Apparently, Ms. Kathryn thought that she sustained this injury at home.  She was horrified to discover that it happened at school, and offered me her apologies.

How is it these glasses look so great on him??  Doesn't matter what he wears...even if he's in the buff.  Could it be because he is adorable...?

Today, we are going to Arysha's birthday party.  First, I am off to get my legs waxed (it's a basic need).  I am hoping to actually straighten my hair and put on some make-up for this event.  If it happens, I will be sure and post a picture.

The gloom that hovers comes and goes.  I can almost ignore it now (got the usual magoo-interrupted sleep last night--which is acceptable).

Today I am proud of myself for helping out Malou's friend Lily.  On Thursday, she was seven days away from losing her visa.  Today, she is a proudly employed housemaid.  She found a lovely American family (the lady of the household is Indian-American and has emailed me--she has to be pretty nice to have taken the time to do that).  Hopefully, they will all be happy.

Drainage

We have hit a bit of a 'bump in the road' so to speak here, in our enchanted life.

The last two days have been emotionally taxing for me.  My last 'good' sleep was on Tuesday night.  Since Wednesday morning, I have slept two hours (and I think that number is generous).

I am not quite sure how I am awake, and functioning, but I am.

I have been unable to breathe properly, and can't seem to redirect my mind anywhere else.  When I try to meditate, my thoughts just wander back.  The word "Om" which is meant to bring peace to a frantic mind, only brings me thoughts of my friend Aum, who is experiencing neutropenia as a result of her chemo treatments.

Tonight, I just received a message telling me that my friend Kim's cancer has spread to his brain.

I have only numbness.

I am hopeful that Kim will be able to hold on until Peter gets to Edmonton next week.  

This is a very strange time in my life.  I cannot think of another time that I have experienced emotions (or lack thereof) like this before.

Today we visited with friends Rajeev and Mira, who are expecting a baby girl next week (Sept 27).  I was able to put aside my 'fog' and be there with them today.  I started to feel a little normal again, and then got home, checked email, and got the news about Kim.

Pickle's New Glasses

Baby One, 37/14, dark blue.  That is the 411 on the new specs Pickle is sporting (as of this morning).  Mercifully, we have anti-glare/anti-reflective coating this time around (which I was testing out, thus the unflattering picture above).  This will be a whole new year in pictures for him, as we will actually be able to see his eyes in most of the photos.

Gumby

The bruise continues to darken.  Will have a word with Kathryn about it at tomorrow's Hopes and Dreams meeting (which is a goal-setting conference, giving little A a day off of school).  Today A attended her first ballet class with Turning Pointe.  I was happy to see my new friend Samar's daughter, Sarah, is also in this class.

Just a magoo

Magoo was not at her 'personal best' today.  She balked at every nap opp and then fell asleep in the car (once on the way to pick up Pickle's glasses, and later on the way to get little A from school).  She did, however, fall asleep very quickly at the end of the day.

Spent some time with my friend Hanim (and her MIL Raja) today--she is off to the Seychelle's and then New York in the next few weeks.  Her husband works with Etihad, and they get to do a great amount of travel.  It was nice to catch up with her, though little A's school schedule makes afternoon play dates really challenging.  Hanim was great about packing it in at 5 (though Omar wasn't very impressed).

Today, at lunch, I made a very yummy sandwich with eggplant, sundried tomatoe and feta cheese, that my friend Eric Kayser taught me how to make when I was in Paris.  I had a little inward sigh (ahhh...Paris), and I remembered the day when Peter's tablet slipped and the screen smashed at the Menagerie, and Jasmine (jah-jah) and I tried these flavourful sandwiches from EK on the way home.  Who knew eggplant could be so delish??

Bruised and Battered

It speaks to the way my heart is feeling right now.  Cancer, cancer and more cancer.  It seems cancer has infected three friends who are dear to me.  One of them is fighting with radiation in China, the other, chemo in Canada, and the third, sadly, seems to be coming to the end of his battle.  It breaks my heart, and the only way I can deal, is to only think of it for minutes at a time.  

Fortunately, I have  three children, so minutes is generally all I have to focus on one thought anyways (if I am lucky).  But, bedtimes, when my loves are all sleeping...that is when my thoughts fly, my heart fills and the tears overflow. 

Today, at school, little A had her first 'incident'.  As one of her classmates (a charming young man by the name of Sami B yelled to me across the hall, little A "smashed her face in").  Thankfully, the charmer has a way with hyperbole, and the damage was minimal--isolated to her upper lip.  Mercifully, the little girl (who wasn't looking and ran straight into A) only gave her a blossoming purple bruise, and the skin did not break.  

mug shots 

It does bother me a bit that the only details I have on this 'incident' come from my five year old daughter.  I was expecting that their would likely be a little note in the 'passport' (the daily communication tool), but there was nothing.  Thinking back to my own teaching days, I am positive I would have mentioned the injury to the parents via the agenda.  Something like "A received a little bump in PE class, but is okay".  Am I wrong?

I am filing my WCB claim as soon as we get back home ;-)

Had the pleasure of correctly identifying one of the four KG2-5 teachers as "Canadian".  Her name is "Inge" (pronounced 'Inga') and the clues I used were:
1.  She said "take a 'boo' around"
2.  She wears Birkenstocks
3.  She is really nice

Glad to know my Can-aydar works!

1344

Despite a bumpy start (E-movers--your organization has much room for improvement), the dust is both literally and figuratively starting to settle.

Supervising the movers

The move that was only supposed to take ONE day, ended up taking TWO, and involved an awful lot of extra work for us all.  Normally, we expect the movers to pack and unpack most everything (except the kitchen) but with E-movers, that might have put our move into the three day range, and I was not interested in that.  The men that came were very nice, however there were just too few of them, and only one or two of them had a working level grasp of English.

Just the two of us

There were so many things to coordinate:  cleaners, maintenance, movers, curtains, pool guys, landscaping, keys...and my phone rang constantly.  I have made so many new male Pakistani Punjabi friends (and I am not sure that is a good thing).  Once the garden is done, the curtains are up and the pool is filled, I think we will be ready for company (bc so many of our friends are just waiting to come and visit!!).

Litte A is showing signs of settling into school.  She still gets nervous in the mornings at drop off time.  However, the little girl I pick up is generally very chirpy and happy.  So, it will still take a bit of time.  The hardest part for me, is how little time I have with her after-school.  It feels like she comes home, has a snack, plays, bathes, eats supper and sleeps.  I confess to missing the endless hours we used to spend together.  Now I feel lucky to have the time to snuggle her while reading a bed-time story.  I have to find a way to maximize the time we spend together.

However, I am now having the opportunity to have more time with Ni-ni and Magoo.  This is a treat, as they are both very sweet and fun (though Magoo has been a bit of a howler monkey as of late).  I think they are exploring a new relationship with each other as well--one that is without any interference from their big sister.

We have had our friends Juergen and Fidelia over for dinner (kind of a 'soft house-warming' get together).  Little A even took a nap so that she could stay up later and spend some time with Fidelia.  I think we all really enjoyed our time together, but certainly, my friend Yang was missed a great deal.

Little A and Fidelia

Yang makes my second friend to be diagnosed with breast cancer this summer.  As Aum starts her chemo in Grande Prairie, Yang is having her radiation treatments in China.  My heart is with them, and I love them both a great deal.  For me, having women like them in my life lets me know that I am making good life choices, and surrounding myself with loving souls.  

That's what being in Abu Dhabi and getting older has done for me. It has given me some clarity, and help me to define myself and the kinds of people I want in my life.  People who bring me up, and nurture me, with love and honesty.  I am not afraid now to limit exposure to people who don't bring anything positive into my life.  Can you believe I used to be?

A boy and his dog

I am really enjoying all the space in our new villa.  It will make it easier to pass a few more years here (though how I will ever live in the real world again...).  Today, we became the proud owners of an indoor trampoline (for N's physiotherapy), and I LOVE it.  He is still learning how to bounce on it (mostly he likes to lie down).  I can't wait to see what A will do when she comes home.  Magoo, of course, started baby-jumping right away.  

The parking garage (from Christmas) is a big hit, Nanaji!

That's how we have been keeping busy the last few weeks.  I feel like I really need to sit down and reorganize my head, as it has all been a very overwhelming experience.