The third time's a charm...?

Little A presented me with this gift when I came home from the hospital yesterday.

Of course, in exchange for the mug, I presented THIS to the world:

Ta-DAH!!

The experience altogether was much less traumatic (emotionally) than before. I think I only cried once, and that was when my spinal tap started to wear off and the nurses were dragging their heels at getting me some painkillers. I was a lot more calm and alert during this procedure, and remember it all. I was joined in the O/R by Dr. Mahmoud (seriously--he is SUCH a jovial man), Dr. Marwan (who always seems so serious and like he's preparing for the Olympics--I swear he was doing squats!) and Dr. Stiles (who stepped into the O/R and piped out "I haven't been in one of these for a while now..."). I was also very pleased to have Nurse Cecile Cruz (one of baby N's NICU nurses) there with me as well. She was so sweet and pleasant during our days with baby N, and it was nice to have her by my side.

I remember so much of the c-section this time around. I remember the way the betadine was chilling and how the spinal tap fluid felt like a pipeline of ice as it went down my spine. Dr. Mahmoud told me that my legs would begin to feel warm, and immediately, the warmth spread from my thighs downwards. It was heaven to not feel my hips as I was moved back from 'the position' (chin to chest, clutching a pillow) back onto the table. Dr. Mahmoud and Dr. Marwan chit-chatted in Arabic together--Dr. Mahmoud basically walking around with his arms behind his back, making jokes and creating a relaxed 'work environment', while Dr. Marwan was elbow deep inside my uterus. I heard Dr. Marwan chastise the nurses who had inserted the incorrect size catheter for me (size 14 should have been a size 16) and as a result, I had blood leaking back into my bladder (and yet...I still remained calm--perhaps Mahmoud added a little something extra to my tap?). I heard a magnificent and powerful scream, and saw my beautiful little baby girl, with the Elvis hair, peeping out from a white terry towel and gave her soft face a kiss. They took her on to clean up, weigh in and meet her Papa, and began the close-up activities. The smell of my own cauterizing flesh continues to haunt me to this day...and then the Dr's M & M laughed as they said 'see you next year!', once I was all done.

Then it was off to the recovery room, where I looked forward to some sleep, as I had been up to eat at 5:30 that morning--but that was not happening. Apparently, all the adrenalin that I used to get through baby N's birth helped me to crash straight afterwards. This time around, I found myself wide awake (despite trying to force sleep). Even the hot air bubble blanket didn't help. Apparently, this lack of sleep was a foreboding of things to come.

As I was wheeled back to my VIP room (definitely an upgrade--two bedrooms, better (looking) furnishings, a fridge, and PEACE AND QUIET) 303A, I was awake and aware of all the bumps along the way. I was grateful that they had finally invested in a rollerboard to move immobile and freshly cut women from the gurney back to the bed (the last time it was painful, 3-4 nurses, my housemaid and someone saying 'ma'am can you lift a little?'). That's when the tap started to wear off and I had to try and use as many deep breathing techniques I could remember to manage the pain. Peter yelled at a nurse "does she have to die before you guys get her some pain killers?" and I remember thinking that death would at least be a reprieve. Fortunately after a shot of Voltaren and 30 minutes, I was feeling better.

Some of the things I will remember most about the hospital experience (this time around):

1. That 'look' the nurses got in their eye, whenever they recognized me from my delivery of baby N last year. They would first approach me as a stranger, but then they would look at me, make eye contact--and you could see the hamster wheels turning...and I often let them off the hook and said "yes--do you remember me? I had a baby here a little over a year ago." One of the doctors who claimed she remembered me (Dr. Susan from Iraq) actually didn't have her 'eureka moment' until she saw me attempting to walk down the hall. Then she remembered me (for my distinctive walk I presume) for all the steps I had taken back and forth to NICU.

2. The Thunder Stealer--baby N who generally visited only mornings was a favourite of all the staff. My friend Mirha loaned us a baby cot and he spent a lot of time being visited by the nurses. I overheard one nurse telling another that baby N was Dr. Marwan's "favourite baby." During one of my exams, I found too that Dr. M was more interested in talking more about baby N and his development, than either me or New Baby (NB) S.

3. The "Room Service"--Peter was delighted to get meals too (part of the VIP service) and would not eat at home before coming to visit. He eventually got so that he actually started making 'requests' (my favourite was when he negotiated some Indian grub--he wanted lamb curry but ended up with a very spicy chicken curry--but he still seemed content). That night I ate a tasty baby chick-pea salad, and once 'normal life' resumes, I will hunt down these baby chick-peas and make my own.

4. My amazing children: Well, I knew baby N would be just fine, as that is his nature, but I sure did miss that little cherub terribly. Little A, who KNEW what was going on, was amazing. Though she had her heart set on a baby brother, she was thrilled to have a baby sister, and kept remarking on how sweet she was. It didn't matter that every time she came to visit, we had to remind her of her baby sister's name. We were happy that she seemed to have forgotten her FIRST baby name pick: Maggi Dip (named after her favourite vegetable seasoning), and that she was in love with the 'new baby'. As well, little A was a trooper at home. She spent long days being carted back and forth from home to hospital, and behaved so very well--it made her mother proud. There were only a few teary moments, and I could see her trying so very hard to keep things together--but it was a big change in her little world (and frankly--in our big world too!).

Little A and version 2.0

5. Panjiri: When my friend Deema sent me a text offering to bring some of her mother-in-law's panjiri for me (she said she had LOADS), I accepted, thinking that it was an Indian sweet dish made of milk and thin noodles. I discovered later that it was actually an Indian 'medicine' given to mothers after birth to help their bodies heal faster and their milk come in. It is made of ghee, sugar, fennel and nuts (among other things). I believe my mother had offered to make me something similar, but by all reports (and the fact that Deema said I was welcome to it, as she wasn't planning on eating it), it was not going to be a tasty treat--rather something needing to be washed down with a cupful of milk, and so I had told her to hold off (I hate wasting things). To be honest, the last thing I was expecting when I consumed my first spoonful was to become an addict--but I must confess--I LOVE the stuff!! I have already asked Deema to top-up my supplies.

We started our hospital adventure on a Thursday and it ended on a Sunday. The jury is still out on whether the stay was more a prison-term or a resort visit. After a hearing test and check-up for NB S, we were cleared to go home. I was quite relaxed about it, as I had finished all of her 'set' in time (although I'll confess, the baby hat is a bit small and thus can only be used as head covering for prayers).

The Name:

Our daughter's name is one of the 1008 names given to the Hindu deity Parvati (the goddess of power, love and devotion). Parvati's father, Himavan, is the lord of the mountains and the personification of the Himalayas. Thus Parvati can be translated as 'daughter of the mountains'. There are many different spellings, and we chose to dress it up with an 'h' at the end.

Neither Peter nor I are religious fanatics. In keeping with our other two, we wanted a name with Sanskrit/Hindi origins. We chose this particular name as we both liked the way it sounded (and believe that it should be very easy to pronounce no matter where you come from). It was only after we settled on it, that we realized how it actually fit our NB perfectly.

I have been so very grateful for all the support I have received from friends, around the world. It has taken me almost four days of working piece-meal on this blog to finish this entry, which indicates how much time I have on the computer.

NB S is a major supporter of breast-feeding--so much so that she wants to do it ALL THE TIME. So far, she has not demonstrated a great love of sleeping--and so it has been really exhausting--no sleep at night OR during the day (b/c that's when my other two children want to play with their mom!). Top that off with recovery from major surgery--and well--these are tough times, but I only anticipate that each day things will improve (inshallah).