Here are some things that make me happy...

Christmas cuties (above and below)

This camel costs 7500 aed and is solid brass
(so of course we put our children on it and took pictures)

This was us dressed up for our Christmas eve 'event'

I am trying really hard to think of this day as a great day, with one CRAPPY event, rather than as a 'bad day'.

This morning we had our speech therapy appointment with Neethu, and a 'follow-up' appointment with Dr. G from SKMC (for N's ears).  This afternoon, we had an impromptu playdate with my friend Shariza and her girls (soooo glad they are back from KL).  

I really enjoyed TWO of these activities.

I really did NOT enjoy ONE of these activities.

I won't keep you in suspense.  It was the appointment at SKMC (with HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED).  The ENT doctor I met with is a real piece of work.  A little bit of background:  this is the doctor who stepped out of the O/R after draining N's ears and told us that our son has severe to moderate hearing loss in both ears, that it was criminal that it has gone so long without treatment, and that he should be fitted for hearing aids immediately. 

After being devastated by this news, we were blessed that Jino (the audiologist who actually did the testing) took the time to clarify that the doctor was actually WRONG, that N's hearing loss is minor, and very possibly temporary, due to the ear infection he had.  However, as the dr is his boss, he did not want to contradict or argue with him in  front of us, and that is why he approached us afterwards (as he also did not want us to be stressed out for no reason).  After a follow-up meeting with Jino, he recommended that we repeat the ABR testing in two months, and that though hearing aids would help him until his ears healed, they were not necessary, and it would not be detrimental to him in any way if we waited to use them (if the second test showed they were required).  He also gave us a referral to our current speech therapist, and we are very happy with her and N's progress to date.  

So, I was very upset and angry after my follow-up appointment today.  Upon noticing that my beautiful son was not wearing hearing aids, the dr began seething with disapproval.  He asked me why I would choose not to give him hearing aids, as he has severe to moderate hearing loss (which is untrue).  I told him that I did not feel the hearing loss was as severe as he did.  I told him how well N was doing in speech therapy, and all the new words he had acquired, and he continued to be pessimistic, and harped on about how I was holding him back from developing in his speech.  I said "all due respect Dr, but it has been three weeks since you drained his ears.  Are you telling me that in three weeks of not having hearing aids, that he will never learn to speak properly?".   I also reminded him that N has delays of about six months across the board, and as such his language skills should be compared to that of an 18 month child, rather than that of a two year old.  I also told him that I wanted the ABR test repeated and that if the hearing deficit still existed, then I would consider that hearing aids then.  To this request he had several different responses:

1.  Did I really think that repeated the test actually would make a difference?  (I told him that all my research indicated that if an ABR test result is abnormal, then the test is always repeated one month afterwards).  This caused him to:

2.  Scoff at the research. He said that is nice 'research' but that it never happens in actual practice.  I told him that I would be happy to pay for N to have this test done at a private clinic and pay for it.  To this he replied:

3.  "That's your choice.  I will write my report to indicate that you, a 'lay person' have decided that your son is doing well and showing progress and that you are not following up with any of our treatment recommendations."  I did try to impress upon him that I was only looking for a second opinion, before introducing hearing aids to my son's life.  Keep in mind, that through this entire dialogue I am already aware that this doctor is completely clueless and basing his 'severe to moderate hearing loss' on his own INACCURATE interpretation of the ABR test results (which raises the question as to why this has not been clarified with him prior to N's appointment--the answer to which I know is likely b/c none of his 'underlings' actually want to be the one to try and correct this man, b/c seriously--he only likes to listen to the sound of his own voice).  

4.  At this point, he gets up and walks out.  Yes.  Just walks out of the exam room.  Then he comes back in and I say again, that I want to ensure that his report accurately reflects what I am looking for:  confirmation of N's hearing deficit.  To which he tells me "You don't dictate what I write in my report."   To this I agree, and try ONCE AGAIN (obviously, I don't get it) to confirm that he understands what I want--a second opinion.  

5.  Then he comments about what kind of person would subject their son to the full anesthetic again, so soon, to have this test repeated.  I told him I thought that the test could be done under sedation and not full anesthesia, to which he replies "yes...you see if they will do that at the private clinic".  WTF???  I am fairly certain that he was the one who told me they did it under sedation in the first place.  

I try to change tactics, and ask him to please just check N's ears, and ensure they are healing, as that is the reason for our visit.  So he does, and tells me there is no fluid and they seem to be healing fine.  

And then he starts up again.  Please see above, as I think we basically rehashed this again (or I just have it out of order in my description--this was a very stressful experience for me, and N started screaming half-way through---obviously stressful for him too).  At some point, he got up and walked out again.  I called him back and ended by saying "My son is very important to me, and I want to do the best for him.  I would like to know who is the name of your supervisor, as I do not feel you have acted very professionally."  He tells me that he IS the supervisor of the department.  I again ask him, "Who is your boss?".  He replies that he IS the boss.  And I say "Who do you report to?".  With the flick of his hand, he mutters something...and walks away again.  

As I type this, I am again very livid and angry.  I called Peter at work, and told him about my experience.  He didn't really seem to understand why I was so upset, nor was he really able to comfort me.  Peter never seems to understand what an emotional person he chose to marry.  I ran into Jino in the clinic, and he wanted to talk to me, but I told him that I didn't want 'his boss' to see us talking, and thus get him in trouble.  

So--after trying to calm down, and taking a few deep breaths, I made my way downstairs.  I found the 'voice of the patient' office, which was empty.  However, next door I met Israa, and she asked me to tell her what happened.  After I did (with a few tears--why do I cry when I am angry?), she requested that I file a formal complaint, so that they could start a case against this doctor.  She also told me, that I was not the first person to have a problem with this particular doctor.  She described him as 'moody' (I can think of some words that would be more appropriate--but let's stick with 'moody').  So, I wrote up two pages to describe this incident, and focused on his behaviour and attitude.  Then, she called up to the clinic, to speak with Jino, who confirmed for her what he had told me about the hearing loss.  He even came downstairs to talk with us again.

What bothered me the most about my interaction with this doctor was the way he was treating me.  He absolutely refused to listen to anything coming out of my mouth.  In his mind, if I wasn't agreeing with him and doing what he told me to do, then I wasn't worthy of his time.  Though he never raised his voice to me, his tone was condescending, and he was very uncooperative and very hostile towards me.  In the three years that I have been living in this Muslim country, this is the most I have ever been disrespected by a man.  

Then, N and I came home, had lunch, and S went for a nap.  A and N decided to play the afternoon away, so I invited Shariza and her girls to come by, and they kids had great fun playing together.  Shariza and I have tentatively made plans to share a quiet New Year's Eve celebration at our place together.  With her and Arul's company, we will surely be ringing in the New Year with laughter.  

I found my nystatin cream at Prince pharmacy--so I am on my way to be pain-free as well.  

And I am hoping that writing about my negative experience today will help to purge it from my mind.  I have already wasted too much of my energy on this 'moody' fellow.  I will have to wait and see what my letter of complaint brings, and deal with it when it happens.  Until then, I will try my hardest to put it out of my mind.  

Okay--here's to a good rest.  I am off to read "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" and have a little mental break from my day.  Let me look at those pictures above one more time before I go to sleep.