Here are some things that make me happy...

Christmas cuties (above and below)

This camel costs 7500 aed and is solid brass
(so of course we put our children on it and took pictures)

This was us dressed up for our Christmas eve 'event'

I am trying really hard to think of this day as a great day, with one CRAPPY event, rather than as a 'bad day'.

This morning we had our speech therapy appointment with Neethu, and a 'follow-up' appointment with Dr. G from SKMC (for N's ears).  This afternoon, we had an impromptu playdate with my friend Shariza and her girls (soooo glad they are back from KL).  

I really enjoyed TWO of these activities.

I really did NOT enjoy ONE of these activities.

I won't keep you in suspense.  It was the appointment at SKMC (with HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED).  The ENT doctor I met with is a real piece of work.  A little bit of background:  this is the doctor who stepped out of the O/R after draining N's ears and told us that our son has severe to moderate hearing loss in both ears, that it was criminal that it has gone so long without treatment, and that he should be fitted for hearing aids immediately. 

After being devastated by this news, we were blessed that Jino (the audiologist who actually did the testing) took the time to clarify that the doctor was actually WRONG, that N's hearing loss is minor, and very possibly temporary, due to the ear infection he had.  However, as the dr is his boss, he did not want to contradict or argue with him in  front of us, and that is why he approached us afterwards (as he also did not want us to be stressed out for no reason).  After a follow-up meeting with Jino, he recommended that we repeat the ABR testing in two months, and that though hearing aids would help him until his ears healed, they were not necessary, and it would not be detrimental to him in any way if we waited to use them (if the second test showed they were required).  He also gave us a referral to our current speech therapist, and we are very happy with her and N's progress to date.  

So, I was very upset and angry after my follow-up appointment today.  Upon noticing that my beautiful son was not wearing hearing aids, the dr began seething with disapproval.  He asked me why I would choose not to give him hearing aids, as he has severe to moderate hearing loss (which is untrue).  I told him that I did not feel the hearing loss was as severe as he did.  I told him how well N was doing in speech therapy, and all the new words he had acquired, and he continued to be pessimistic, and harped on about how I was holding him back from developing in his speech.  I said "all due respect Dr, but it has been three weeks since you drained his ears.  Are you telling me that in three weeks of not having hearing aids, that he will never learn to speak properly?".   I also reminded him that N has delays of about six months across the board, and as such his language skills should be compared to that of an 18 month child, rather than that of a two year old.  I also told him that I wanted the ABR test repeated and that if the hearing deficit still existed, then I would consider that hearing aids then.  To this request he had several different responses:

1.  Did I really think that repeated the test actually would make a difference?  (I told him that all my research indicated that if an ABR test result is abnormal, then the test is always repeated one month afterwards).  This caused him to:

2.  Scoff at the research. He said that is nice 'research' but that it never happens in actual practice.  I told him that I would be happy to pay for N to have this test done at a private clinic and pay for it.  To this he replied:

3.  "That's your choice.  I will write my report to indicate that you, a 'lay person' have decided that your son is doing well and showing progress and that you are not following up with any of our treatment recommendations."  I did try to impress upon him that I was only looking for a second opinion, before introducing hearing aids to my son's life.  Keep in mind, that through this entire dialogue I am already aware that this doctor is completely clueless and basing his 'severe to moderate hearing loss' on his own INACCURATE interpretation of the ABR test results (which raises the question as to why this has not been clarified with him prior to N's appointment--the answer to which I know is likely b/c none of his 'underlings' actually want to be the one to try and correct this man, b/c seriously--he only likes to listen to the sound of his own voice).  

4.  At this point, he gets up and walks out.  Yes.  Just walks out of the exam room.  Then he comes back in and I say again, that I want to ensure that his report accurately reflects what I am looking for:  confirmation of N's hearing deficit.  To which he tells me "You don't dictate what I write in my report."   To this I agree, and try ONCE AGAIN (obviously, I don't get it) to confirm that he understands what I want--a second opinion.  

5.  Then he comments about what kind of person would subject their son to the full anesthetic again, so soon, to have this test repeated.  I told him I thought that the test could be done under sedation and not full anesthesia, to which he replies "yes...you see if they will do that at the private clinic".  WTF???  I am fairly certain that he was the one who told me they did it under sedation in the first place.  

I try to change tactics, and ask him to please just check N's ears, and ensure they are healing, as that is the reason for our visit.  So he does, and tells me there is no fluid and they seem to be healing fine.  

And then he starts up again.  Please see above, as I think we basically rehashed this again (or I just have it out of order in my description--this was a very stressful experience for me, and N started screaming half-way through---obviously stressful for him too).  At some point, he got up and walked out again.  I called him back and ended by saying "My son is very important to me, and I want to do the best for him.  I would like to know who is the name of your supervisor, as I do not feel you have acted very professionally."  He tells me that he IS the supervisor of the department.  I again ask him, "Who is your boss?".  He replies that he IS the boss.  And I say "Who do you report to?".  With the flick of his hand, he mutters something...and walks away again.  

As I type this, I am again very livid and angry.  I called Peter at work, and told him about my experience.  He didn't really seem to understand why I was so upset, nor was he really able to comfort me.  Peter never seems to understand what an emotional person he chose to marry.  I ran into Jino in the clinic, and he wanted to talk to me, but I told him that I didn't want 'his boss' to see us talking, and thus get him in trouble.  

So--after trying to calm down, and taking a few deep breaths, I made my way downstairs.  I found the 'voice of the patient' office, which was empty.  However, next door I met Israa, and she asked me to tell her what happened.  After I did (with a few tears--why do I cry when I am angry?), she requested that I file a formal complaint, so that they could start a case against this doctor.  She also told me, that I was not the first person to have a problem with this particular doctor.  She described him as 'moody' (I can think of some words that would be more appropriate--but let's stick with 'moody').  So, I wrote up two pages to describe this incident, and focused on his behaviour and attitude.  Then, she called up to the clinic, to speak with Jino, who confirmed for her what he had told me about the hearing loss.  He even came downstairs to talk with us again.

What bothered me the most about my interaction with this doctor was the way he was treating me.  He absolutely refused to listen to anything coming out of my mouth.  In his mind, if I wasn't agreeing with him and doing what he told me to do, then I wasn't worthy of his time.  Though he never raised his voice to me, his tone was condescending, and he was very uncooperative and very hostile towards me.  In the three years that I have been living in this Muslim country, this is the most I have ever been disrespected by a man.  

Then, N and I came home, had lunch, and S went for a nap.  A and N decided to play the afternoon away, so I invited Shariza and her girls to come by, and they kids had great fun playing together.  Shariza and I have tentatively made plans to share a quiet New Year's Eve celebration at our place together.  With her and Arul's company, we will surely be ringing in the New Year with laughter.  

I found my nystatin cream at Prince pharmacy--so I am on my way to be pain-free as well.  

And I am hoping that writing about my negative experience today will help to purge it from my mind.  I have already wasted too much of my energy on this 'moody' fellow.  I will have to wait and see what my letter of complaint brings, and deal with it when it happens.  Until then, I will try my hardest to put it out of my mind.  

Okay--here's to a good rest.  I am off to read "The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" and have a little mental break from my day.  Let me look at those pictures above one more time before I go to sleep.  

Pea Soup Fog

My favourite square to land on in the game of life was "Pea Soup Fog".  I know it was some kind of metaphor for that time (or those times) in one's life, where the future is not exactly clear, causing you to become disoriented, disenfranchised and thus having to miss a turn.  

As I was heading out yesterday to N's speech therapy appointment, I encountered some serious pea soup fog of my own.  Peter called me in the morning to ask if I was still going to take him, and as I had not looked out the window yet, I thought this was a bizarre question.  However, after driving a few minutes, I realized how poor visibility was.  I texted Neethu to tell her we would be late, and she called me and suggested that we just reschedule the session instead.  Which I gratefully accepted (as I still hadn't reached the highway).  

Outside the compound yesterday, 13 degrees

Same spot today--you can see the Eye of Aldar clearly now

Speech therapy went well today, and N seems to enjoy working on his own with Neethu.  She brought him some of her family's traditional Christmas cake, which was sweet (literally and figuratively).  Afterwards, we tried to pick up our parcel at the central post-office, which was a complete waste of time, as we learned that it was actually at the KCA post office.  

We spent some time this afternoon at the HealthPlus at Al Bandar.  I discovered that S has oral thrush (and thus, so do I).  This has been the cause of some extreme nursing pain for me, which I have been writing off as pain due to the love bites she has given me.  Despite the fact that A and N BOTH had oral thrush as well, something only clicked in my head today, reminding me that I have experienced this particular kind of pain before.  After looking inside her mouth, I confirmed it!!

While I was there I also met the dentist, who is Indian, but hails from Las Vegas!!  I can't tell you how much I enjoyed listening to him speak English--almost the same as me ("I'm Candidian" A told him).  Going to make an appointment with him to let him have a look see at this filling that is still troubling me.  

The morning speech therapy visits are taking a toll on A.  She misses having me home, and is demonstrating this by being uncooperative.  I have had a talk with her about it...and of course, I feel guilty not being here...but, right now, N needs this time.  

As I was picking up the treatment for thrush at the pink shops, I saw THIS, which made me laugh.  I am so used to people having big dogs (shepherds, huskies) in the back of their trucks, that I had to look TWICE at this when I saw it.  It's a SHEEP!!  I was happy the driver (a fellow Indian) laughed when he saw me taking a picture.

Baaaaaaaa!

Blogging from the desk of our Speech Therapist

Only in Abu Dhabi...

When I arrived this morning, Neethu asked me to let her try a session without me inside.  After making a phone call, and going downstairs to the coffee machine, I exhausted my 'things to do to keep busy' list.  So, I asked Neethu if I could borrow her laptop to surf the web, and instead, she told me to go ahead on her computer.

So, here I am--writing my blog, while T N says 'open' and 'I want chocolate chip' and all the other little things that he can say.

I wonder if he'll start talking with an Indian accent??

Things have not slowed down any at our place.  On Monday morning, I woke up to find Malou in extreme distress.  She had been experiencing breathing difficulty all night, pain in between her shoulder blades and numbness in her left arm. She was too uncomfortable to tell Peter, so she just watched the kids as best she could until I got up at 7.  I tried to be  calming and soothing, as I could tell she was stressed out.  I gave her an aspirin (which I had leftover from the pregnancy with Smile-ah), as those symptoms sounded pretty much like they had 'heart attack' written all over them.  So, I added "take Malou to Emergency" to my list of "Little A's dentist appointment" and "T N's speech therapy".

So, I dropped her off at New Al Noor Hospital, dropped T N off at Peter's office (so he could take him to speech therapy),and then took Little A and Smile-ah to the dentist with me.  It was a bit of juggling, but we did well I think.

After giving her a pain killer, chest x-ray and ecg, they released Malou and said she had just pulled a muscle.  They gave her some anti-inflammatories, and told her to take it easy.  Which she had difficulty doing, as she tells me she is afraid that if she stops using her muscles, she will be paralyzed.  So, I have just asked her to slow down and not lift T N at all (which I think is the heaviest thing she lifts).  Her friend is also coming over at night, and giving her massage, which she feels more comfortable with than the medication (which she is taking).

(****please note that I am now starting DAY 2 of this entry--back at the speech therapist's office.  Yesterday's blog was disrupted by a power outage and the fact that eventually, after 45 minutes or so, we get to go home!).

So, that was Malou.  Little A's appointment at the dentist went really well.  She was lulled into complacency by the nitrous again (orange nose this time) and the thing that bothered her the MOST was that when she was inverted on her back, she couldn't see Kung Fu Panda (which they kindly continued for her from the previous week's filling).  Any and all the screaming in the room was attributed to Smile-ah, who enjoyed playing with the toothy monster and pulling on all the various cords that were within her reach. 

Kung Fu Panda hands too fast to be captured on film

I also popped myself into the dentist's chair, as I am still unable to chew on my left side.  The dentist said the contact was 'high' and did some adjustment.  I was hopeful...but when I got home, still the same problem.  When I chew on my left side, the filling at the back is giving me a lot of discomfort (worse than before she filled it).  So, now I am thinking perhaps it is time to check with another dentist for a fix.  Let's see when I have some time for that. 

Tuesday's highlight was joining Little A in her 'Jazz' class (quotation marks have been used as I have not seen any indication that anything she is learning is distinctly JAZZ).  I was there with my video camera (and regular camera) and couldn't keep the smile off my face as I watched Little A shake her bon-bon all around the room.

Afterwards, I packed up the three musketeers and drove off to the New Al Noor Hospital.  Our house has been filled with rabies vaccinations, diarrhea and runny noses, but the primary reason for our visit was "GENERAL CHECK-UP".  Our focus was T N, as he has just turned 2, and we wanted to follow up with our favourite (and oldest) pediatrician, Dr. Stiles.  Since I was making the drive and we have an 'all for one and one for all' mentality, I decided to have all three of them checked, to ensure we were going into 2012 with a clean bill of health. 

The words "benign hypotonia" sound so lovely rolling off the lips of Dr. Stiles.  I especially enjoyed having him walk us out, and knock on the door of Dr. Salaam, and ask him if he remembered T N (who had popped out of his stroller and walked right into the room to shake hands).  Of course, Dr. Salaam did, and he expressed happiness that T N's progress is so remarkable (in his humble opinion, I guess). 

Little A was pronounced practically perfect, and Dr. Stiles also expressed surprise that Smile-ah was already pulling up to stand (she will be 9 months on Saturday).  He had a chuckle over little A's rabies vaccinations, and shared a story about his daughter in South Africa, who is always having to top up her rabies vaccinations, as she constantly has rabid animals in her yard (it sounds like she lives in the wilds).  Little A, who has one injection left to go (it will be a Christmas gift on the 25th), does not find these needles so enjoyable anymore. 

After a quick stop in the NICU (where none of TN's old NICU nurse pals were around to say hello) we drove home to supper, baths and sleep. 

Wednesday morning, during breakfast, Malou got a call that made her face drop and she passed the phone along to me.  It was from Dr. Mary Elizabeth (just the name you would expect for an East Indian doctor), who informed me that Malou's x-rays showed a shadow on her heart.  She wanted Malou to come back to the hospital to get a referral to a specialist.  So, we added that onto our morning.  After speech therapy, where T N attended class WITHOUT his mama (thus, the blog entry), we drove back home, picked up Malou and the girls and drove to the hospital. 

I discovered the fastest way to get service in this country is to be a FILIPINNA!!  We managed to get a referral from Dr. Mary in the GP clinic, see the specialist (Dr. Abdullah Hanna) for blood test and ct-scan referrals, and get Malou's blood drawn all in under a record TWO HOURS!!  I had debated leaving Malou there with taxi-fare home when the receptionist told me the wait for Dr. Abdullah would be 1.5 to 2 hours, but I could see she was worried, and so I sat with her for a few minutes.  When I finally settled on the decision to go, and was pulling out cab-fare, the nurse showed up to call her in. 

We were home by 12:45, and all the kids were asleep by 2 pm.  Seriously WOW!!  Malou seems to be fine, and we are just waiting for the results of the blood testing, and for approval for a CT-scan.  It seems that shadows on the heart can be MANY things, and so we are not going to worry until we are told there is something to worry about. 

While we were waiting at the GP clinic for Dr. Mary, I popped T N upstairs to the NICU again.  We were so pleased to see that ONE of the nurses from his NICU days was there.  Here is T N with Loren, who we were hoping might have managed to immigrate over to Canada by now.  When T N was born, Loren, who has a Master's degree in Nursing, was hoping to move to either Canada or the US.  She seemed to be quite competent and intelligent and I always felt good when she was on shift.  Although it was really nice to see her, I was sorry that she was still here in Abu Dhabi.  She told me that Myra (the nurse who 'caught' T N) was now at the Corniche, and Cecilia (the head nurse) had moved on to the Al Noor Hospital on Khalifa Street.  Otherwise, it seemed the rest of the staff was intact (with many new additions).

with Loren

Now we are caught up to today, Thursday.  Today we need to squeeze in a shopping trip to Lulu (after we get back home).  In the afternoon, little A will have her ballet presentation, and aftewards, I am heading off for another beating..er...I mean Thai massage treatment at Sharanis spa.

Tomorrow is Friday, which is wide open to us.  We plan to spend Christmas eve at Drica and Antonio's home (this is the third time we've been invited and the first year we will go).  We have also decided to host a very small dinner for Christmas at our place. 

I have just learned that we will not have speech therapy again until Monday, as the Well Health Medical Centre seems to be taking a Christmas break.  How happy am I that I decided to bring Neethu's Christmas chocolates EARLY??

with Neethu

I am hoping to have time to send out a Christmas email to all our friends and family...but, we will see if I can find the time (especially since I don't have speech therapy again until Monday!!).  For anyone who is reading this blog, please know you have our love and best wishes for Christmas (yes Peter, even IF it is just a made up holiday) and the New Year!

Where does the time go?

I haven't gone anywhere.  Yet, I have found that the words "free time" are virtually non-existent in my vocabulary these days (or perhaps they are just simply synonyms for the word "sleep"?).  I find my world today to be very, very busy--with so little time for the computer (or myself for that matter).  However, in an effort to keep my blog semi-up-to-date...here is a mini-summary.

November 25:  I was very proud of myself on this date.  We managed to do so very much.  First off, Friday breakfast, followed by beach time, and a visit with my friend Sahar (who flew back to England the next morning).  We came home, attempted (unsuccessfully) to have naps, before we headed out again to Luz and William's (I still have no clue who William is) 4th PIRATE themed birthday party EXTRAVAGANZA (seriously--all it was missing was camel rides).  Suffice it to say, I was really DONE by 6:30 when we came home.

Our very our "Mitch" doing the Baywatch

Smile-ah gets into things

Costume made lovingly by mom

The mermaid

Costume assisted lovingly by Aunty Yang

The next 'big adventure' occurred at Sheikh Khalifa Medical City on December 6, as T N fasted in preparation to having his ears drained and his hearing tested by ABR.  We were required to be at the hospital by 6:30, and his surgery was at 8:30 that morning (though, of course, it actually started later).  My favourite memory will be the one of him sitting on the hospital bed as they wheeled him to the O/R.  The nurse had put on a large 'shower cap' for him, and wrapped him in a heated blanket.  He was delighted with the ride, and kept looking back at me and giggling.  The mental picture I have of that is so very sweet, and I kick myself for having left my phone in the room.

Pre-op with papa

My LEAST favourite memory--well, it's a tie--between watching the anesthesiologist try (very unsuccessfully) to find a vein (there was blood everywhere and finally they just used the mask and some gas to knock him out) AND having the doctor (who shall remain nameless as I would likely add some very unflattering expletives around his name) tell us that T N had moderate to severe hearing loss on both sides.  Fortunately, the audiologist came out later and explained to Peter that the high and mighty doctor was INCORRECT, and that likely T N's hearing loss was minor, and quite possibly TEMPORARY (related to the ear infection that caused the ear fluid to build up in the first place).

Notice the different hospital smock?
The first one probably had too much blood on it,
and so they changed it in the O/R.

Fortunately, at the Pre-Op appointment on Dec 4, T N learned to suck from a straw (for the first time!!).  This helped me to not feel like "the world's worst mom" for not bringing him a bottle along to drink milk after the operation.  This little guy drank apple juice from a straw, ate a cheese and lettuce sandwich, and had some ice cream and custard for dessert post-op--and he kept it ALL down!  Good boy!

That week was like riding the Mindbender at West Ed...very emotional--but with a 'happy ending' (at least I think).  So, now, T N is enrolled in a very intense speech therapy program, run out of a private clinic.  He is going EVERY DAY, six days a week, for 45 minutes (which his therapist always turns into an hour or more).  

Little A got bit by Pussy Willow (who got a little too playful).  This added:  take daughter to E/R at SKMC after waiting two hours in SEHA, b/c only the government hospitals carry the rabies vaccine.  As she needs five doses, this has been another 'add on' to my calendar.  Fortunately, her last shot will be on December 25 (isn't a vaccine booster what we ALL want for Christmas?).

Pussy Willow, current status:  MIA

Then, we held a second birthday celebration for T N.  We decided to hold it a week early, as so many of our friends are disappearing for Christmas holidays by the 17th.  The theme was GLOBAL, and I invited everyone to dress to reflect their heritage and where they were from.  However, only a few people dressed up (thank-you Aunty Yang and Aunty Zana).  As you can see from the pictures, Peter Smile-ah and I are emphasizing our Edmontonian roots (that is his old school Oiler jersey stripe in the background), while T N and Little A chose to focus on their Chinese background.  

Can you see the cookie monster cupcakes I made??

A labour of love I tell ya.

This week, little A and I had dental appointments for cavities.  I had a very bad experience (again) with nitrous oxide.  It was really pleasant for a while, and then I just found myself sinking deeper and deeper.  I started to get worried that I couldn't breathe, and thoughts of little A (who was watching Dancing Princesses on the sofa across from me) seeing my convulsing body roused me into requesting "Please turn off the nitrous" twice, in what I hoped was a very calm and relaxed voice.  You see, I was having my treatment done first so little A could see going to the dentist wasn't scary. 

I must have done something right, as she managed to have these two front teeth filled with only nitrous and Kung Fu Panda to entertain her.  She also got to be snuggled by her mom throughout the entire procedure.  Fortunately, she is one of the many people who can enjoy the pleasant effects of nitrous oxide. Unfortunately, she still has one more tooth to go, and we have to go back for it next week.  I am still unsure how I will juggle this with T N's speech therapy appointment.  

the BEFORE picture

Today, I had to take little A to the hospital.  She had been having what I will only describe as 'bowel movement issues' since yesterday.  In fact, I put her back in a diaper just in case.  This morning, four bowel movements in, when she started crying that her stomach hurt and she wanted to go to the doctor, I rearranged the speech therapy and took her to the hospital.  However, at the hospital, she seemed to improve (as you can see from the picture below) and had a fun time playing with her glosses.  The doctor mentioned that she was the fourth child she had seen that morning with this issue (it was only 10:15), and there was a virus going around.  Let's hope she doesn't share this with T N and Smile-ah.  As I type, she has been napping for over three hours...so, obviously her body is battling with something.

I learned that 9:30 is T N's ideal speech therapy time.  When we finally made it there at 11:35, he would not sit and play.  Though he had napped, he seemed tired and was definitely not receiving a gold star for cooperation.  In his defense though, Neethu, his therapist, did keep him for 90 minutes--which is REALLY long for an almost-two year old (and pretty long for a 36 year old too).  I know she thinks she is doing me a favour, as she wants to make our drive in worthwhile, but honestly, the work that she is doing with him is so much better than what they did at SKMC...45 minutes with her is really enough, as it is quality therapy time.

Smile-ah--is not smiling so much these days (yes--these pictures lie).  She has been really fussy and wants to be carried around all the time.  I think she is teething--but it has been going on for almost (over?) two weeks now...I am exhausted from terrible sleeps at night and NO sleeps during the day (seems that one of the three is always awake).  There has been a lot of stress here, and a lot of time with Malou while I am running to and from appointments...so hopefully things will settle into a routine soon, and she'll settle back into her happy little self...I need some rest!!