Baby N has been putting on some weight, and he is quite a stout and solid little (almost) toddler. Of course, with his Buddha belly, and his sweet little moobies, come the unsolicited (and unwanted) comments from the peanut gallery about him being 'fat' and 'so heavy'. I have become very sensitive to these comments, and find them difficult to just grin and bare.
Baby N's weight gain was a bit puzzling to me, especially as I have not increased the amount of solids he is eating by any great amount. It was worrying enough for me that I brought it up at his last appointment with the pediatrician--who told me that we should monitor his weight gain, but not to worry about it, as he is within the normal range. She also suggested we switch him to low-fat or skim milk (which was a big surprise) and just let him continue to be his own active/exploring little self. And, of course, once he started walking, he would burn a lot more calories.
Then, today, I had the 'a-ha!' moment. I figured out where all the extra calories have been coming from for him. Seems I have another 'bad mom' award coming my way.
Today, when my helper was preparing Baby N's supper, I happened to actually be in the kitchen (instead of playing with the kids, or nursing NB S) beside her. I looked over at Baby N's bowl of cereal, and I said "WOW! That looks like a lot--is that only two scoops?".
She replies: "No--four."
In my head I am confused and pause for a moment. Four scoops is DOUBLE the amount of cereal that I have told her he should have.
So, I say: "He's supposed to have 2 scoops." I look at the label on the can of cereal (made lovingly by ME, with a red heart, for PETER--so he knows how much cereal to give his son for breakfast on the mornings that I am not up and he decides to feed him). The label says "2 scoops for breakfast".
She looks at the label too and says, "2 scoops for breakfast. 4 scoops at lunch and supper."
I wonder where she came up with this information. I say, "I have never given him 4 scoops."
She goes to the fridge, to look at the written instructions I left (for when I wanted to make her more 'independent' instead of having her ask me every day what Baby N should have for lunch and supper). The written instructions also indicate only 2 scoops. What more can she say?
I too am at a loss. I say "No wonder he has been putting on so much weight." She is one of those people who has commented about how heavy my baby Buddha is.
So, I opt to just shake my head and say, "2 scoops for breakfast, lunch and supper. Not four." Then I pretend NB S is fussing enough to need my immediate attention and walk away. What more could I say?
I am so upset. I wish I could be angry at her, but at the end of the day, I know the buck stops with me. I have looked at Baby N's cereal many, many times while I've been feeding him and wondered why it always looks like so much MORE than it used to...and then my brain gets distracted by something else, and I never follow through with further investigations.
Also, since I have been so tired for so long, I feel like my memory is not as great as it used to be. So, I find it hard to be certain about things. I am always second-guessing myself (for example--a small part of me was wondering if perhaps at some point I had switched him to 4 scoops for lunch and supper and then forgot about it), and I am tired of this too. Even though I am tired and run-down, my brain is still in excellent shape, and I have to start giving myself some credit for that.
I will have to try and find some more energy somewhere to be better at supervising the work that she is doing related to my children. It is annoying to me that she messed up something so simple (2 scoops!!--where is the confusion in that?). Generally, I only task her with things that are not complicated--to get the little 'time-wasters' off my plate--but if I have to micro-manage even THOSE things....well, wouldn't I just be better off doing it myself?
Breathe in...breathe out...deep breaths...time for some tea and sleep. Just a little ranting from someone who obviously needs to escape with some tea and unreality television.
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